
AN ORDINARY LIFE: ITS BITS AND PIECES
Judith Otto
Edited and designed by John Veit
Cover Design: John Veit
Cover Photo: Judith Otto, May 2, 2019
Back Cover Photo: Unknown
Copyright © Judith Otto, 2025
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
First Edition: Veit Publishing, Ojai, California [July 21, 2025]
Printed in the United States of America
ISBN: [979-8-9853019-9-1]
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thanks to all the people who helped Judith Otto throughout her life: my brother Michael, cousin Freedom, Pati, Daniel, Lia, Matt, Stacey, Kofi, Clay, Ira, Robin, Joe, Vince, and her many friends who expressed their love for her in too many ways to count.
Prologue
Philosophy of Education
Philosophy of the suggested procedure for developing a basic skills curriculum for the Stepping Stone Magnet School.
August 12, 1978
"What is the task of education? Is it not to provide students with the means to meet the future?" asks Caleb Gattegno in his book What We Owe Children (1970, Avon). The most obvious deficiency of contemporary education is that it fails in that task. Interestingly enough, before the institution of public education, children were prepared (and still are in primitive societies) for the future by the formal and informal instruction provided by their elders and by the rituals that marked their passage from youth to adulthood. While these children were familiarized with their past by oral traditions, it was public education that formalized and required the study of the past in the hope that future generations would learn from past mistakes. Public education also required instruction in basic skills, defined traditionally as reading, writing, and arithmetic, to prepare children to deal with the future, as it was perceived in the present. More recently, some schools have provided opportunities for children to learn more about themselves through such studies as psychology and through such techniques as values clarification. There has been a notable lack, however, of providing students with the means to meet the ever-changing and unpredictable future. Therefore, it makes sense when planning a curriculum to ask, “What do people need to know?” The most basic answer is that they need to know how to survive.
People need to know how to survive physically, emotionally, and financially. Such survival requires that one:
—Know and love oneself. This means knowing one’s history, one’s capabilities, one’s priorities, one’s needs, and how to set and achieve goals to meet those needs.
—Know others. This is knowing their history, their capabilities, their priorities, their needs, and their goals. Most importantly, it means knowing how to interact with them.
—Know how to do certain things. These “things,” or skills, may be divided into two categories: content skills and process skills. Content skills are such skills as money management, leisure time use, body maintenance (exercise, nutrition, hygiene), maintenance of possessions (home, car, machines, etc.), use of the environment, consumer skills, and skills that are germane to the career one will pursue. Process skills are even more important because the possession of such skills enables a person to acquire for herself the knowledge and skills she needs when her formal education has ended. Some process skills are decision-making, computing information and resource finding, communicating, organizing self-assessment, and planning.
Contemporary education helps students acquire the knowledge of self and others and the content skills cited above, to some degree under traditional structures. For example, a person can learn to know oneself and others through the study of philosophy, biology, sociology, anthropology, history, psychology, literature, art, music, dance, and drama. A person can acquire content skills through the study of language, mathematics, science, physical education, home economics, shop, and career education, but there is currently so much to learn (in his book, Future Shock, Alvin Toffler calls this phenomenon information overload.) that it is impossible for a student to learn it all during his few years of formal education, and self-defeating for a school system to hope to provide all that knowledge and all those skills for its students. Therefore, in planning any curriculum, it is necessary to attend as much as is realistic to knowledge and content skills, but it is essential to attend most zealously to the process skills. Process skills might also be called basic skills. While it is possible to study process skills (decision-making, communicating, etc.) by studying people and situations, An Ordinary Life.
In situations in which they use these skills, it is difficult in that context, if not purely academic, to create ways in which students can practice these skills; the practice of these skills must be integrated with content areas. So, it is necessary to create a framework, or a context, within which the process skills may be practiced. This framework would best be created with faculty involvement. A facilitator or trainer might work with faculty to answer the question, “What is important to know?” When an answer(s) to that question, the task of this faculty then would be to plan the best way to provide that learning utilizing the available resources and the special skills and knowledge of faculty members. An alternative framework is the three-part answer given periodically to “What is important for people to know?”: to know and love oneself, to know others, and to know how to do certain things. To implement such a framework requires a complete restructuring of the school curriculum and the school day. Even more difficult, it requires that teachers be involved and invested in the restructuring and be helped to see how their skills would be utilized. The framework requires group planning and team teaching, student-centered learning, and a variety of materials and resources, as well as a variety of instructional methods. In short, such an effort requires time and investment in careful planning, with special attention to faculty involvement and training. The expected outcome of such curriculum reform is that faculty and students alike will experience growth. Faculty will grow as a result of the challenge of using their knowledge, skills, and experience in new ways. Students will become self-actualizing persons, with the ability to view their own lives clearly and realistically, to be non-judgmental about other people, to be creative, to be less anxious, less hostile, and less needful of praise and affection, to experience little difference between work and play (to find each pleasant and stimulating), and to enjoy other people but to be highly independent.
Portfolio
Work published while employed at The Needham Times, a weekly local newspaper serving Needham, Massachusetts. The contents include columns written for a weekly column, The Copy Hook: a column of news, near news, and commentary; news stories; and feature stories. The time span covered is May 1973 through March 1974.
May 3, 1973
A column of news, near news, and commentary: Ken Webb, Editor, Needham Times
THIS IS MY LAST COLUMN as the writer of the “Copy Hook.” My assignment will be taken over by Judy Viet, a sample of whose work is the “Uncamelot” paragraph. As you can see, she writes with flair and imagination, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy her work.
Uncamelot Performance Unconvincing
Perhaps the color television needed tuning. King Richard looked a bit green as the tale of Uncamelot unwound Monday night. Our leader bestowed upon himself another title, Richard the Noble, as he assumed full responsibility for the Watermoat Battle, at the same time disclaiming any involvement in, or knowledge of, the plan of attack. Banished from the castle, but with honor, were the king's trusted · knight, Sir Kleindienst, and his court jesters Haldeman and Ehrlichman. With less honor, the king's wizard, Dean, was banished from the kingdom. Eliot the Fearless was knighted for the third time and charged with the task of ferreting out those who threatened the king's integrity. Thus ended the play, or so we had hoped. Richard the Noble, however, performed encore after encore with soliloquies glorifying his lofty plans for the kingdom, which plans had materialized, rather conveniently in a retroactive manner, last Christmas Eve, as King Richard pondered his decision to send a crusade to the northern fief of Vietnamland. The king, however, must have forgotten that he had ordered the royal coffers locked and that lofty plans require many gold pieces. The drama, however, is unresolved. Whom will Eliot the Fearless ferret out? More jesters, a few fellow knights? King Richard himself? Will Sir Eliot’s armor plate remain untarnished during his quest for the Gold Truth? Camelo has never been more un.
May 10, 1973
TWO HOURS LATER and $8.50 poorer, I reluctantly quit the garage sale trail last Saturday after visiting only half the eight sales advertised in last week’s Needham Times. My efforts were rewarded. The take included a 20” bicycle, $5; a child’s Boston rocker, 50 cents; and two 24” Texaco fire trucks. $1.50; a boy’s size 8 Mighty Mack parka, 50 cents; a plastic train and track set, 50 cents; a Hot Wheels Hot Curves track set, 50 cents. All items are in good shape; most were put to immediate use at home (the jacket was put away for my five-year-old, who grows, predictably, one size a year.) Goodwill and Salvation Army stores and rummage sales, but the garage sale eliminates the middleman. I suspect that the truck drivers who empty the collection boxes and the committee ladies recognize the most usable and least-worn items before they ever reach the public. The most pleasurable experiences of the day, however, were free—bumping into friends who were engaged in the same pursuit and listening to the “salespeople” recite the sentimental history of each item.
May 17, 1973
FOR CHILDREN - I was invited to a rather unique baby shower that took place last week - a post-natal shower. You might call it a case of multiple births. America has fathered tens of thousands of children and orphaned tens of thousands more. The orphans of Vietnam were the beneficiaries of the shower. Guests were asked to bring new and used children’s clothing, powdered baby milk formula with iron, vitamins, dried foods, vaccines for smallpox, measles, and polio, penicillin and other miracle drugs, shampoo, oil, powder and lotion, gauze pads and tape, towels and sheets, and one or two dollars for postage costs. The Friends of Children of Vietnam (FCVN) is sponsoring the shower, one of many given in recent months. FCVN was begun in Colorado and has inspired similar groups across the country. The Boston area group appeared recently on Catch 44, a television show, and explained their ‘function as twofold: first, to encourage and expedite adoptions of Vietnamese orphans by American families; second, to contribute to the welfare of the orphans who will remain in Vietnam. FCVN, 84 Garden St., Cambridge, receives numerous calls on adoption, but few follow-ups occur. Couples who, because of the shortage of adoptable infants, are unable to adopt through normal channels see overseas adoption as a solution. But they become discouraged when faced with the reality of a malnourished, handicapped, or diseased child who may range in racial composition from pure Vietnamese to Vietnamese Caucasian to Vietnamese Black. Therefore, FCVN emphasizes its orphanage support program. The Saigon government, Ministry of Social Welfare, provides two dollars a month per registered child. The American government provides nothing. KITE FLYING ENTHUSIASTS with whom we have shared the air on breezy days at Memorial Park might be interested in the plans of the Committee for the Better Use of Air, Inc., and the Boston Park and Recreation Commission, sponsors of the fifth annual Great Boston Kite Festival May 19 at Franklin Park Golf Course. In addition to the various competitions for prize-winning kites, special events have been planned. Hot air balloonists and parachutists will show their special talents; members of the Boston Sky Club will demonstrate the “exciting and somewhat dangerous art of sky surfing.” Music and ethnic foods will be provided on Festival Day between noon and 5 p.m. Jim Nance, Needham resident and former Boston Patriot; Maggie Lettvin and her Beautiful Machine; and the Zoom kids are among the judges who will award prizes to the best homemade kite in each of 30 categories. Some of the most popular categories are most photogenic kites, best engineered kites, most out-of-sight kites, largest kites flown by the smallest person, and, the easiest-to-win category, the Charlie Brown award for the first kite to land in a tree. The rain date for this free activity is May 20.
May 24, 1973
I could easily write advertising copy for Educational Expeditions International (EEI) of Belmont. I became acquainted with the organization at last month’s Needham AFS benefit showing of the National Geographic film documentary, "The Violent Earth." The film was made on EEI’s Nyragongo expedition through the rain forest of Central Zaire and into the living lava lake of Nyragongo. Amateur participants assisted volcanologist Haroun Tazieff in collecting lava and gas samples from the volcano and studied the dynamics of the lava pool. With the abundance of graduation notices we are now receiving from colleges and universities, it struck me that here was the perfect graduation gift - an experience. EEI is a non-profit educational organization that supports field expeditions led by research scientists around the world. Billed as working experiences not for tourists, the expeditions are open to men and women of all ages. No professional qualifications are required. The recipient of this gift might accompany Dr. Prentice Thomas of the University of Tennessee’s Department of Anthropology to Mexico’s central Yucatan from June 2 to 22 to study prehistoric settlement patterns at a fortified city of the Mayas. In August one might assist Dr. Ofer Bar-Yosef, director of the laboratory of prehistory. The Institute of Archeology at Hebrew University is excavating a late Stone Age hunter’s hut near the Sea of Galilee in Israel. During the total solar eclipse on June 30, one might study the impact of the eclipse on a pastoral people in Kenya whose cultural traditions and daily acts are governed by the movement of the moon and stars. The chief scientists of this expedition in astronomy and anthropology are Dr. Asmarom Legesse, professor of anthropology at Northwestern University, and Dr. Gerald Hawkins of the Smithsonian Institution’s Astrophysical Observatory. This is not the year to present the graduate with a car. Ecological concerns and the projected gasoline shortage discourage that. An experience and its subsequent memories cannot be discouraged.
May 31, 1973
THE MS. DESIGNATION for an adult female, married or not, may not be euphonious, but it makes a lot of sense to the equality seekers. The infamous double standard is obvious in this chart:
An adult male is always a Mr., or its linguistic equivalent. One never knows by his title whether Mr. Jones or Herr Braun is married. If it is not important to know the marital status of a man, why must a woman be classified as a matron or a maiden? Should a title designate respect for a man and eligibility for a woman? We recommend Needham Youth Summer Theatre’s production of “Butterflies Are Free,” the group’s first serious drama, tonight and tomorrow night in the Needham High School auditorium at 7:30. The young actors have gained a worthy reputation in their past performances. Jack McQuillan, president of NYST, promises a good show. “Cabaret” will be the thespians’ next production, Aug. 16-18. GOOD SOUND—The Girl Scouts’ drum and bugle corps made some great noises in the Memorial Day parade. The small but well-trained group rivaled the Needham High Band. BETH HOPPER loves “Zoom.” When the 9-year-old moved here with her family from the Washington, D.C., area a year ago, she was excited about living near Boston, where the popular television program for six- to 12-year-olds is produced by WGBH-TV. Because the “Zoom” cast is chosen from among Boston-area kids at open auditions, Beth decided to try out. She joined recent auditions for the 11-week autumn series of shows and was invited back for the second audition. Fellow fourth graders at Hillside School waited hopefully. Her parents, Dr. and Mrs. Dave Hopper of Rolling Lane, waited hopefully. Beth waited most hopefully of all. But when word came that she had been eliminated. Beth, who tried to be the least disappointed of all who had hoped to see a Needham youngster on “Zoom,” decided that she just might try again next year.
June 1973
A ROTARY CLUB representative tells me that my unpleasant experiences with the recent trade show were unique and that I am the sole complainant. I was willing to overlook the fact that when I appeared at the door of the Needham High School gym the evening of May 5 with what was supposed to be a free ticket to the show, I was told that I owed $1 for admission. As advised by an advertisement, I’d gone to one of the exhibitors for a complimentary ticket. It seems that I chose from among the wrong stack of tickets; that exhibitor later told me when I complained. My ticket wasn’t a ticket at all, he explained, but a reminder to attend the show. I paid the $1, to benefit campers, after all. And I was also willing to overlook an appointment another exhibitor failed to keep two weeks after the show. His representative called to ask when the company might deliver the free gift I’d signed up for. I told her I didn’t remember signing up for a free gift, but the free items offered sounded good enough to sit through the sales pitch I knew I’d have to endure if I accepted. Fifteen minutes before the scheduled rendezvous, the representative called to ask if we might reschedule the appointment. Still optimistic and never one to turn down a “free gift,” I said the item might be delivered the next evening at six. 6 p.m. has come and gone 23 times since. I’m still waiting. What I am not willing to overlook, or even accept, is the prize my husband won from another of the exhibitors. Almost one week after the drawing for this prize, we were phoned and advised of his good luck. This time I was to call for the booty. I did so 15 hours later (she called late one afternoon). I was there shortly after they opened the next day. The “prize” was presented with an apology. It was inappropriate for a man (forgivable - a gender guarantee was not promised), dirty and shopworn, and obviously an outdated specimen. I would recommend a consumer protection agency as a part of this year’s show, or better yet, what manufacturers like to call “quality control.” The point of the show, after all, is to do some good for our community, and ill will it doesn’t need. GUESS WHO donated a cake for the next 12 months, a design valued at $700, a handcrafted wooden toy train, an antique pewter tankard, a case of soda, as much lunch as two people can eat, a crewel iris wall hanging, and a letter from Andrew Wyeth? To find out, watch the Channel 2 Auction June 1 9. One hundred Needham businesspeople and individuals have offered merchandise and services to the highest bidders for the benefit of Boston’s public television station. The money raised provides about a third of unrestricted funds received from the public. Donors and bidders will try hard to make up for the hatchet job done to WGBH’s budget by the Public Broadcasting Service last February. INFANT SIZE 10 children’s clothing is being collected by Suzanne Sanger of Needham for the orphans of Vietnam. The most suitable items are those that have at least a year’s wear left and are light enough for Vietnam’s warm climate. These orphans, the youngest but most impressionable victims of the war, have been in the news a great deal lately. For sociological and bureaucratic reasons, the great majority of them will remain orphans. There is no financial assistance provided by the United States government, although tens of thousands have been fathered by U.S. servicemen. Citizen groups all over the country have attempted to relieve some pangs of conscience by clothing collections. Between March and May of 1972, Belmont citizens responded to such a plea with 1000 pounds of clothing. Those who were unable to donate clothing supplied the funds for postage. After collection, the clothing is shipped in bundles of 150 pounds to Denver, Colorado, the national headquarters of Friends of Children of Vietnam, who forward it to Vietnam. Suzanne will receive clothing and donations at her home, 26 Sargent Road. MY VOTE for the most irritating bumper sticker - the one often seen on suburban station wagons full to the brim with children of all ages - “Adoption, not abortion.” I’m always tempted to stop the driver and take a poll of how many of those children are adopted. The recent Environmental Protection Agency proposal to limit traffic into Boston should find many advocates within Boston city limits and many opponents in Needham. Those who commute to work within the boundaries of Route 128 would find parking charges greatly increased and would be banned from driving into the city one day a week. That’s bad news for us. Work and shopping schedules would have to be altered. Public transportation would have to be improved to handle those discouraged from driving. But Needham’s inconveniences would result in breathable air for Boston residents.
THE TELEPHONE is too much with us. A recent letter to the editor told of a reader who was trying to sleep off an illness, being awakened at 4 a.m. by a prankster. A youngster called me Saturday afternoon to ask if my refrigerator was running. If I’d been more alert, I might have been up to the punch line, “Go and catch it.” I, too, was trying to combat an illness with some rest. My privacy is interrupted daily by telephone addicts. “Do you need aluminum siding or storm windows?” "We're having a sale on upholstery and custom-made slipcovers." “Your · number has been chosen to receive a year’s free subscription to five popular magazines. All you pay is postage.” “You’re invited for a free weekend at our camp but not obligated to buy a campsite.” “Your family has been chosen to receive a free set of encyclopedias. All you must do is write a testimonial letter and subscribe to the yearbook for ten years.” Junk mail is a pleasant intrusion compared to constant telephone assaults. Junk mail can be set aside to read at lunch. It can be given to children who like to receive their own mail. It can even be thrown away at my convenience. It doesn’t demand my immediate presence. It doesn’t interrupt my activities or rest. It doesn’t wake my children from naps. And it doesn’t cause me to be rude... THIS WILL READ like a weekend diary, I fear, but there’s always more than enough to do on a typical weekend in Needham. It began with “Butterflies Are Free” at Needham High School. Despite latecomers throughout the entire first act of the Needham Youth Summer Theatre drama, I found the performance of Bill Hadge as a blind youth most convincing. As a testimony to this performance, I found myself wondering how strange it would be to meet him offstage. As the sighted person he really is. The role of Jill Tanner was well played by Rhonda Glasberg, who had the vibrancy necessary for the part. Jill’s handicap was more serious than the blind boy’s; she found it difficult to make a commitment to anyone other than herself. Because there was no curtain call, we in the audience found it hard to thank the cast for an enjoyable evening. Cub Scout Pack 4 sponsored a fun day at High Reck playground on Saturday. There were pony rides, games, and prizes, but none of the hawkers and carny atmosphere that seem to be an inescapable part of carnivals. It was hard to spend more than a couple of dollars on games that were fun and fair. Staggered lines marked starting places for big, medium, and little people. The Cub Scouts’ parents cooked hot dogs and hamburgers on charcoal grills, and the desserts were the best that a mother could turn out. From there, I set out to check the progress of the Charles River clean-up group. I drove as much as Needham’s 12 miles of riverbank as is navigable by car; in fact, I drove 24 miles in pursuit of the cleanup. Seeing a group of cars parked in a field off Dedham Avenue, I assumed it to be the parking place of the group. I wandered along a wooded drive and came upon some people who seemed too formally attired for scouring the Charles. When I asked about the cornered gentleman for the clean-up group and was directed to the kitchen, my fears were confirmed. I was an unexpected wedding guest. Some young men, ushers, I judged were terrific in identical! Flowered ties. Back on the road, I spotted a lemonade stand, an oasis for the many bicyclists speeding their way along South Street. But tacked up next to the word “lemonade” was a sign that said, “Closed for lunch, please come back.” I may just do that. PUBLICITY CHAIRMEN, TAKE NOTE—Slates of officers are being elected at annual meetings as clubs, service organizations, and PTCs recess for summer vacation. New publicity chairmen are asked to hunt up our article “How we work: the fine art of publicity releasing” in the May 31 issue, page 12. (If you missed it, come in and ask for another copy.) Then, when the task of composing that first press release next autumn seems insurmountable, re-read our suggestions. It will save us both a lot of work. A more comprehensive (and free) publicity handbook with suggestions on how to approach all the media may be had by writing to The Sperry and Hutchinson Co., Consumer Relations, 3003 East Kemper Road, Cincinnati, Ohio 45241. THE LAST WORD—We accepted, with amusement and a sense of fair play, Mrs. Anne Barstow’s letter to the editor (see page 4) on why I had failed to find the Charles River clean-up group on June 2. I understand that although the numbers of volunteers were few and far below what the committee had hoped to recruit, those who came worked doubly hard to make up for their absent brothers (and sisters) and were finished by 2 p.m. I had expected to find them toiling long into the afternoon. An especially littered spot, I learned, was near the causeway at the Dedham line, which, volunteers say, seems to have been used as a dumping ground by some commercial trucks. Cloth scraps and landscaping materials were among the debris volunteers hauled away. In reference to Mrs. Barstow’s letter, we warn her that we hold her to her promise to send us a trash bag and a map next year. HONORIS CAUSA—In the pages of this week’s Needham Times, you will find a photo of Gertrude Whall Queen, a native of Needham, who was honored recently by Curry College in Milton. When Mrs. Queen was invested with a hood and given the honorary degree of Doctor of Humanities, this citation was read: “GERTRUDE WHALL QUEEN, our records indicate you are our oldest living alumna, and we are proud of you. “After graduation from Needham High School, you rode horseback more than fifteen miles a day to attend and later graduate from the Curry School of Expression in 1902, seventy-one years ago, with a degree in physical education. Upon graduation, you introduced physical education to schools and private groups throughout the Boston area, becoming a pioneer in this relatively new field. “After your marriage in 1905, you lived in Puerto Rico for several years but returned to Needham when your late husband became the owner and president of a manufacturing company, of which you served as general manager for nearly thirty years. Not one to be inactive, you became involved in civic and community affairs, including the presidency of the Needham Women’s Club and membership on the School Committee. During World War I, you devoted much of your time to the activities of the Red Cross.” “Your husband was the chief engineer of the Admiral Byrd Second Expedition to the Antarctic and took the first metal ship, the ‘Jacob Ruppert,’ into Little America. Always an avid sailor yourself, sailing over most of the world, you sailed to the winter camp of the Byrd expedition to meet and aid your husband. You were among the early sailors to sail the Northwest Passage, where you were icebound for several months. “Other of your distinctions are unique. On several occasions you captained the Massachusetts Civilian Rifle Team in national competition at Camp Perry, Ohio. Furthermore, you were the first woman to earn the Marine Corps Expert Medal in pistol shooting. “We are proud to honor a gracious and charming lady whose many contributions to society and to humanity deserve this recognition.” Mrs. Queen, Needham is also proud of you. TANGLEWOOD AT HOME—Opening night for the Needham Summer Concert Band is Saturday, July 5, at 8 p.m. at Memorial Park. Needham citizens have been enjoying the Thursday evening concerts every summer since 1967, when Skip Norcott, then the music director for Needham Schools, founded the band. The first summer he recruited members of the Needham Senior Marching Band, but the following summer the band was opened to anyone who wanted to play. Skip eventually undertook a tour of duty with the service and now teaches in Pennsylvania, although his trombone can still be heard during occasional band concerts. He spends summers with his family in Milton and accompanies his trombone to Memorial Park for a concert now and then. Other musicians range from local people to other suburbanites to teachers and students of the Berklee School of Music. John P. O’Toole, a Needham High graduate and member of the original band, now conducts. He is also music director for Needham Youth Summer Theatre’s August production of “Cabaret.” The band rehearses its “music under the stars” every Tuesday night at 7 at the high school and welcomes new members.
July 1973
ON THE ROAD—One of us who contributes to this column is sorry to have missed Needham’s Fourth of July festivities last week. Having packed our four-pound beefstick (a belated birthday gift), suspended from a clothes pole a Wandering Jew hanging plant (a belated anniversary gift), and floated two Phenergan tablets (to ward off the family flu) in an airtight container in our lemonade jug, we unceremoniously spent the day on Interstate Route 90. The destination was upstate New York, and en route we sampled the gourmet delights of turnpike and thruway restaurants. A typical lunch this side of Albany consisted of macaroni and cheese for one, a hamburger for another, a sloppy joe sandwich for a third, and German potato salad and sausage for the last. As is customary, if unsanitary, we all traded and tasted one another’s lunches, only to discover that although different in appearance, all lunches tasted alike. Restaurant critics always, we gave the establishment, in addition to six dollars, a minus four stars rating (several grades below mediocre). For dessert, three small boxes of Cracker Jacks and one of pretzels, we paid another $1.50. They should have been recalled on June 4. We arrived with wall-to-wall Cracker Jacks for a car interior. The boys’ skin had been replaced by sticky popcorn scales, and it seemed that the only solution might be sandblasting both boys and the car. It was a sight that only a grandmother could love.
MORE NOISE ON NOISE—If you’re wondering whether you’re just a finicky person or whether the noise levels in your neighborhood are really too high, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, in its publication, HUD Noise Assessment Guidelines, suggests a simple test called the Walk-Away Test. It evaluates, without reference to specific sources, the overall noise conditions at a particular site. The test should be performed when noise is apt to be most severe, perhaps during morning and afternoon peak traffic periods, or at times when noise can be most irritating—when people are trying to go to sleep. Here’s the test: “The Walk-Away Test requires two men who exchange roles as speaker and listener; thus, each person should have normal hearing and an average voice. To perform the test, you will need a 100-ft. tape measure and some reading material with which both persons are unfamiliar.” “The speaker should stand at a fixed location, while the listener, starting at a distance of 2 or 3 ft., backs slowly away. The speaker should hold the reading material at chest height in such a way as not to block the direct path from himself to the listener. He should not raise his voice in an attempt to maintain communication.
At some point the listener will find that he can understand only a scattered word or two over a period of ten seconds or more. At this point, measure the distance between the listener and speaker. Working with the measurements, then, if understanding becomes difficult at a distance of more than 70 feet, the noise level is “clearly acceptable”; 26–70 feet—“normally acceptable”; 7–25 feet—“normally unacceptable”; and less than 7 feet—“clearly unacceptable.” DETOUR—What is a mere annoyance to those trying to travel Central Avenue north of Nehoiden Street is a major irritation to Hillside Avenue residents (and, I suppose, to residents of West and Hunnewell streets). While Central Avenue is being widened, motorists are routed along the above-mentioned streets. To further complicate matters, those who would ordinarily use the Hunnewell Street bridge are now required to use Hillside Avenue. For safety reasons, the Public Works Department has closed the wooden bridge indefinitely. Needham Public Works Supt. Robert MacEwen reports the good news that the state has allocated funds for redecking the bridge and that bids for materials are now being received. On the Central Avenue detour problem, Supt. MacEwen says the contractor is supposed to maintain through-traffic for most of the reconstruction but needs to be reminded quite often of this agreement. The worst is yet to come, Mr. MacEwen regretfully reports, when the culvert at the brook crossing on Central Avenue is replaced, necessitating a sustained detour. The detour route chosen, according to the superintendent, is the safest and best able to accommodate the flow of traffic. He promises relief to those along the detour route when the Central Avenue project is completed Nov. 1. LIFERIGHT—How about a group by that name to protect the welfare of children who are already born? To care for the non-white, non-healthy infants who are not on the preferred lists of adoption agencies? Or to do something about the children in crisis in this country that Robert Coles writes about, or the Vietnamese children, or the Mexican and Puerto Rican children that anthropologist Oscar Lewis writes about? Some anti-abortionists would have us treat children as a marketable item. What, then, happens when the supply exceeds the demand? If you will use marketplace terms, who absorbs the surplus? Do we store them in institutions, as we have in the past? What does Birthright say to an expectant non-white mother, to the expectant mother of a probable Mongoloid child? Does Birthright guarantee a surrogate parent in those cases? If you will protect children, to protect only the desirable smacks of 1984. Genocide is the legal term. NANNIES’ BENCHES—The new tot lots (playgrounds specially equipped for preschoolers) at Mills Field off Gould Street and at Claxton Field near the dump are terrific. Gigantic sandboxes provide many moments of sitting and sandcastle construction for little people. Just the right amount of dizziness can be had from the swinging gate. And the merry-go-round at Claxton Field has been repaired. But the people who take preschoolers to the playgrounds have been forgotten. Where are mothers, fathers, and grandparents to sit while their progeny are working off vitamin supplements? The sandboxes have only four corner seats, suitable but gritty. None of the other equipment is sturdy enough for the heavier generation, were they uninhibited enough to use it. In budgeting, might Park and Rec consider the purchase of park benches for the tot lots? And install them in the shade? PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE—John Holt, the Boston educator and author, advocates de-institutionalizing society. He says that we have come to be consumers rather than creators. In this age of specialization, we depend on institutions to provide our clothing, housing, medical care, and education. Holt says that we can be our own providers in many of these situations. When I think of John Holt and his theory, I think of Project Assist, a group of people helping people. Peer counseling is the term professionals use to describe the telephone hotline that has come to be a tool in crisis intervention. Assist has a staff of backup people—psychiatrists, social workers, teachers, and lawyers—for calls that the youth counselors are unable to handle, but most of the counseling is done by the youths. Most of the calls come from youths or from parents who need help in closing the generation gap. Assist is currently training adult counselors, as calls also come from adults who are lonely or in trouble.
Although boondoggled by crises of its own, namely, withdrawal of support by the Youth Commission, organizational problems, and financial problems, Assist is resurfacing as a vital community service. “Volunteers are always welcome,” says Honor Mogey, herself a youth and newly appointed acting director. Funds are always needed. People can help Project Assist this Saturday by supporting the first in a series of fundraising events, a car wash, to be held from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the Christ Church parking lot adjacent to the Needham Public Library
August 1973
NOISE NUISANCES—Needhamites who are affected by or offended by noise levels in town may make their feelings known to Herbert Gross at 171 Gould St. Mr. Gross is chairman of the Needham Anti-Noise Committee, which is compiling complaints for a report to the Needham Environmental Protection Commission. The most common complaints concern motor vehicle noise, that of motorcycles, speeding cars, and trucks using Needham as a shortcut from Framingham to Route 128. But there have also been complaints of increasing noise from planes flying over Needham. Well, Mr. Gross, here’s my complaint for your report. Those of us who rely on cool evening breezes to “air condition” our homes during the summer have the choice of trying to sleep in a stuffy room or lying awake, cool but awake, listening to the hum of cicadas and the roar of hot rodders. We live in the center of town, on a busy corner, governed by stop signs. The through street at this intersection has become a virtual freeway, with the challenge to the hot rodders of a hill at one end. To judge by their driving habits, this situation requires some very noisy acceleration. One driver, whom I have come to know by the noises he makes, tours the neighborhood periodically around 1 a.m. His specialty is corners. Some facet of this driver’s personality will not allow him to travel more than one block in a straight line. He plays a vehicular game of connect the dots and scores only when he negotiates the corners on two wheels. After he connects all the dots in precinct D, he moves on.
I could complain, too, about the fact that our street is a popular route to the dump, one of the major routes for fire trucks from the Chestnut Street station, and within ⅛ mile of the railroad tracks. But we chose to live close to town. And besides, the trains and fire trucks amuse the kids. None of us, however, is amused by the hot rodders. DURING LAST WEEK’S SPELL of high humidity, which caused our wooden windows and doors to swell, we were sure we would wake up one morning and find ourselves hermetically sealed within our house. SAVE YOUR PENNIES for the gumball machines. They’re no longer good in Needham parking meters as of July 13. You’ll need a nickel now for every 30 minutes of parking in any metered spot. The Needham Public Works Dept. says that Needham was one of the last towns to do away with penny parking and that the new meters should eliminate the mechanical problems caused by the variety of coins accepted by the old meters. Needham paid $1,700 to recondition and repair the meters, $500 for parts and $1,200 for professional labor. Sprinters might be able to cross Needham’s main intersections in the time allotted by the walk lights, but the rest of us have trouble, especially when crossing diagonally. The elderly and mothers guiding an assortment of youngsters, surprised in the middle of crossing by a change of lights, have been seen offering up a silent prayer that the traffic will disregard the premature green light.
REFLECTIONS ON WATERGATE—A radio newscaster recently reminded listeners that President Nixon hasn’t attended Sunday services in 18 weeks. I shouldn’t wonder. The man finds it difficult to face mortal judges. My husband’s favorite brag story concerns the televised Watergate hearings. Senator Weicker was questioning Bob Haldeman when our five-year-old remarked, “That man (Weicker) thinks that that man (Haldeman) is lying, doesn’t he?” This same child, a few days later, added to my repertoire of proud mother stories. He observed Spiro Agnew’s picture in the newspaper article, which implicated the vice president in a scandal of his own, and said, “I guess the vice president has the same problem the president has.” PEOPLE IN SKOWHEGAN, MAINE, are the dancingest folks around. Last Saturday evening they held a dance to celebrate their sesquicentennial. It was a prom-like affair held in the town armory. Each person received a favor—a champagne glass, properly lettered to reflect the event, and a split of New York State champagne. The dance band was a popular group, Brenda Byers and the Neighbors Four, who, in addition to providing dance music, planned to do a floor show. We attended as guests of Skowhegan relatives and marveled at the fervor of the celebrants. Many men had grown whiskers of one kind or another for the weeklong celebration. There were Abe Lincoln beards, Fu Manchu goatees, and handlebar mustaches on men who were costumed in flocked vests and sleeve garters. Women wore period gowns and bonnets and wrestled with hoop skirts, as did their dance partners. After the first dance set, four runners-up and the sesquicentennial queen were crowned. They qualified for the honor by selling more tickets than anyone else. Then began the floor show, a perfect performance of all kinds of popular music—rock, country and western, ballad, and folk. The Skowhegan folk sat through the first part, but when the vocalist took up her guitar, they were unable to contain themselves any longer. They boogalooed to “Jesus Christ, Superstar,” they rocked to “Swanee,” they rolled to “The Auctioneer” (not an easy feat). Despite attempts by the band, from rapid tempo changes to subtle and not-so-subtle hints, to get them seated, on they danced. They even waltzed to the closing medley, a group of patriotic songs that included “This Land Is Your Land” and “God Bless America.” We marveled at and enjoyed this lack of sophistication. Nothing kept these people down. Anyone who can two-step to “You’re a Grand Old Flag” has got to be all right.
August 9, 1973
Needham students’ high scores in statewide tests do not reflect all achievements. In 1971, fourth graders in Needham schools scored in the upper 11 percent of the communities in the state and well above the national average in a statewide standardized test of basic skills. Areas tested were reading vocabulary and comprehension; language mechanics and expressions; spelling; arithmetic comprehension; and arithmetical applications. The results, although known to individual school systems shortly after the January test, were not available for comparative study until recently, when Governor Sargent, under pressure from the Massachusetts Advocacy Center, released the heretofore confidential scores under a gubernatorial ruling on public information. The results were published last Sunday in the Boston Globe, and parents across the state rejoiced or groaned at the public information. What the outcome of the comparison will be is unsure. It is fairly predictable that a rash judgment of the scores without an understanding of what the test measured and what it did not measure will gain high repute for high-scoring towns and that the school committees and administrations of low-scoring towns will have to come up with some reasonable explanations for disgruntled parents. Dr. James F. Baker, Associate Educational Commissioner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, feels that publication of the comparative results “will put education back 20 years,” that it will “set backwards good accountability,” and that it will take four years for the state department of education to regain the confidence of school systems that were promised that the results would be confidential. “A school can do anything it wants,” he said in speaking of any system’s goals. “These goals might be as diverse as high standardized test scores or human development, creative writing or spelling,” he explained. The test, a combination of the California Short Form Test of Academic Aptitude and the California Comprehensive Test of Basic Skills, was administered with Title III Federal funds under the sponsorship of the State Department of Education. The purpose was to obtain objective information on the status of education in the Commonwealth, to anticipate increasingly detailed reporting requirements concerning federal programs, and to determine the educational needs of children throughout the Commonwealth. To Needham School Superintendent William M. Powers, the last goal is the most significant for Needham. Superintendent Powers stressed that what really needs evaluation is how well education serves each individual. He views education as “the effort to produce the kind of cultured person who enjoys living with himself and with others.” Standardized test scores are important, he concedes, in that teachers are able to evaluate the needs of an individual student. He cautions that one should not attach too much importance to any one test and that there are other methods of assessment. Basically, and he stressed this repeatedly, “a standardized test is only a diagnostic instrument that helps a system develop instructional groups based upon the task to be accomplished.” For example, a child might score high in language expression but low in spelling or high in arithmetic concepts but low in arithmetical applications. With standardized test results, a teacher can diagnose a pupil’s weaknesses and take steps to strengthen the weaknesses. Among the elementary schools in Needham, Harris School scored highest (36.1) and High Rock lowest (8.4). (Harris was the third-highest-scoring school in the state.) The scores are based on “difference points.” A difference score of zero indicates that students scored as predicted on the basis of their ability. Difference scores were computed in a range above and below zero, based on an arbitrary scale to reflect the degree of over- or underachievement. Mr. Powers would deemphasize the difference in scores among Needham elementary schools, although he says the general conclusion may be drawn that the highest scores were found in schools that had self-contained and heterogeneous classrooms. A variety of instructional groupings are to be found in Needham schools, he says, but the majority of the highest scoring emphasized individualized instruction, displayed strong teacher leadership, and reflected a high degree of respect among the participants—teachers and pupils alike. Although there has been no statewide re-evaluation of the same students, now entering seventh grade, Needham continues to test students on a regularly scheduled basis in different areas in different years, and Needham students do consistently well. Mr. Powers cites high scores in Needham students on college boards and other standardized tests, particularly the National Merit Scholarship Test. But they also do consistently well in art, music, athletics, and other untested areas, according to the superintendent.
As to the recent revelation of the scores, Mr. Powers feels that “the most effective way to deal with information is openly.” After test results were computed in 1971, all parents of fourth graders were informed of their child’s test scores. Classroom teachers then charted the scores and made individual determinations concerning each child’s needs. The results were made available to the press. Had the test results been poor, Mr. Powers says that he would have shared that information, too. What did the test not measure? “It did not show how well students did in equally important areas—attitude towards education, self-directed learning, art, music, values, and socialization,” says Mr. Powers. “These, too, are part of the educational experience,” he added. Needham schools have, for a long time, enjoyed a good reputation. The superintendent attributes this to “a community that is committed to good education, interested parents, and a very positive climate.” The successes enjoyed by an evaluation of our educational system may also be attributed to a fine professional staff, Mr. Powers emphasized. Reading is the most frequently assessed and the most worried-about of the basic skills. In Needham elementary schools, reading instruction is handled by classroom teachers who are supported by five reading specialists. The specialists help to group youngsters and work with individuals who have difficulties. The high test scores seem to reflect an emphasis on basic skills. What, then, will be the effect of comparative scores on the open classroom movement? Dr. Baker said that in high-scoring schools, “the class time was highly organized ... and children were well aware of the limits within which they could function.” But, he said, “An open classroom has a great variety of goals and opportunities.” State teams visited the 30 highest-scoring schools in the state, and Dr. Baker recalled one visit in which he participated. The observation was to be four hours long. Dr. Baker remembers that the first two hours involved the teaching of basic skills, and his initial reaction was favorable. But when the four hours ended and only basic skills had been covered, Dr. Baker’s evaluation changed. “A classroom should provide a variety of opportunities,” he reiterated.
Superintendent Powers dislikes the use of the word “open” to describe a classroom, as it suggests the word “closed.” He feels that “different teachers are effective with different approaches” and that “good teaching brings good results.” Such standardized tests are a good beginning, concluded Mr. Powers. He called these tests “an interesting kind of assessment,” especially since such tests “evaluate the system as well.” Needham, he promised, will continue to “recognize total goals for its school system.”
September 1973
IS THERE A CHEMIST IN THE HOUSE? A concoction that seems to have been dreamed up in a laboratory rather than in a kitchen is a popular brand of instant breakfast. All it takes is a quick glance at this list of ingredients to understand the naturalists’ aversion to artificial foods: sucrose, malted milk, nonfat dry milk, cocoa, sodium caseinate, hydrolyzed cereal solids, isolated soy protein, lactose, magnesium hydroxide, lecithin, dibasic calcium phosphate, sodium ascorbate, artificial flavors, sodium silico aluminate, ammonium carrageenan, salt, ferric orthophosphate, vitamin A, vitamin E acetate, niacinamide, calcium pantothenate, manganese sulfate, basic copper carbonate, pyridoxine hydrochloride, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid, and potassium iodide. It’s enough to make a person move to the Hunza Valley, where the people purported to be the healthiest in the world enjoy a diet of grains, vegetables, fresh milk, and fresh and sun-dried fruit. The Hunzas, who live in the Asian mountains near the border of India and Afghanistan, do eat meat occasionally and sometimes drink a homemade wine. G.T. Wrench, who, in 1938, published The Wheel of Health, a study of the Hunza diet, attributes the excellent physique and bodily health of these people to the Hunza food and its cultivation. Laboratory rats fed on this diet lacked most of the diseases known to man in 1938. The study, however, disregarded mental illnesses because, Wrench says, “One cannot exactly diagnose neurasthenia, hysteria, and schizophrenia in the rat.”
To illustrate the vigor of the Hunzas and to dispel the myth that chills have debilitating effects, Wrench tells of a Hunza who used to make a hole in the ice on either side of a broad pond. “He dived in at one hole, swam under the ice, and came out at the other for enjoyment.” That’s not really my idea of a favorite winter sport, but the study makes a lot of sense. I’ll take sun-dried apricots before pyridoxine hydrochloride any day. EQUAL TIME—A Ms. Mancinni (neither first name nor address given) wrote an angry letter to us about a recent Copy Hook piece, “Reflections on Watergate.” Apparently she feels that our priorities should be Needham problems, not national problems. Ms. Mancinni said, “Don’t you feel that you would be doing your town… a far greater service by printing something about cleaning up Chestnut Street, putting in curbs in front of the high school so our brilliant students and parents won’t keep running over the taxpayers’ grass… How about some trees in the shopping area—or potted plants? Anything would help. Our town looks worse every day. What happens to all our… money?” True, Chestnut Street is nothing to brag about. But Fred Heald, manager of Humphrey’s Amoco Service on Highland Avenue, was recently awarded one of 20 prizes in the state (3,500 entries) by the Massachusetts Petroleum Council in a contest to “reward dealers who strive for cleanliness and manifest community responsibility in maintaining their stations.” And there are others who are just as conscientious. A. Clinton Brooks Co. always has an attractive window box on Great Plain Avenue. And John Milligan, owner of the realty firm, regularly provides window space for displays of public interest. Even individual businesses on Chestnut Street try to make the best of a historically poor planning situation. Central parking lots in the rear of businesses may have eliminated some of the eyesores on Chestnut Street and may have contributed to a better traffic flow. To ease the traffic problem, a signal light is planned for the Chestnut-Oak intersection. As to Ms. Mancini's other suggestions, we suggest she offer them to the Board of Selectmen. But we just can’t agree that the town looks worse every day.
INTERVIEW
Coaching Insights and Perspectives: A Newsletter of the International Coaching Federation of New England
Winter/Spring 2001
The Coaches Corner: Interviews with Experts
An Interview with Judy Otto by Virginia O’Brien, M.S.
Judy Otto, who has been an executive coach for the last seven years, brings over 30 years of business and training experience to her work. She holds an M.Ed. with a major in counseling and has trained with and for Peter Block and the Center for Creative Leadership. Her firm is Foundations for Change.
Q. What values and vision do you bring into your coaching business?
A. Essentially, work has to have meaning for me and for my clients. I work at a spiritual and holistic level. I want to raise people’s awareness of themselves, so I don’t just operate on a behavioral level. I want to help people understand themselves better so that they will make better choices. The deeper and more holistically you work with people, the greater chance you have for sustaining change. I also value learning, both for me and for my clients.
Q. How long did it take you to build your business? What do you do to market your business?
A: I guess you would say about 35 years. I’ve been a trainer, master trainer, and facilitator in many different organizations. I still teach at the Center for Creative Leadership in Hartford.
I’ve been working as an executive coach for the last seven years. I don’t market myself, but I do have a brochure, which I rarely use. I don’t advertise or do PR. My business comes through word-of-mouth. Because I work in larger organizations, one person refers me to another, so I might be coaching several people within the same company. Some of my first clients came through the contacts I made while I was a trainer. Right now, clients have become hubs in my network. I have more work than I can handle. I feel lucky, knowing my background gave me the foundation to build a practice. I believe it’s hard to begin executive coaching without a business background or without a background in training or consulting.
I also believe that my willingness to share my clients, my learning, my time, and my materials has played a major role in the development of my business. I have a vision for a meaningful life, and everything that happens falls out of that.
Q. What does a full practice look like to you?
A. A full practice means doing the best for my client rather than counting their numbers. If I’m working with three or four organizations, that’s really a full schedule—more than I really want because the busier I get, the less I can do for each client. I’ve had up to 12 clients at a time, but that’s a lot. Working with one or two organizations seems about right, which means that I work face-to-face with clients about two days a week. The rest of the time, I work on activities in support of my clients- I do work five days a week. I also consider learning to be part of my work and devote about 20 percent of my time to it. I attend lots of training workshops, and I read a lot.
Q. What distinction do you see between personal and executive coaching?
A. With executive coaching, you contract with the organization rather than with an individual, which makes the coaching process somewhat more complicated and complex.
Working in the organizational setting calls for excellent listening skills and for the ability to understand the context of the organization. It also calls for well-researched content and effective models, and facilitation and contracting skills. You have to identify the goals of the person being coached, and sometimes these goals end up in conflict. So the process calls for managing the needs of both; this can make confidentiality tricky.
Essentially, executive coaching is based on a systems approach: the person being coached is only one element in the system. Problems might include the boss or one aspect of the organizational system. Sometimes, the environment simply can’t support enhanced performance, so just working with the coachee isn’t going to bring about the desired changes. Then, organizational development (OD) interventions or team coaching might be necessary.
Another difference between personal and executive coaching, and it’s a concern that I have with personal coaching around business issues, is that the coach doesn’t get to see the other side of the issue. The coach has a one-sided view with only the client’s perspective. What’s the other side of the story? What’s the context within which the person is operating? Also, many personal coaches coach over the phone, which I have some objections to because on the phone you don’t have the opportunity to understand the context. You can’t see what’s going on in the environment.
Q. What are the trends that you see around coaching that you think either hinder or advance the profession?
A. I’m concerned that people are making coaching out to be an easy job, but it’s not easy. People are jumping on the coaching bandwagon, but executive coaches need training and experience in business and psychology. Right now there are no prerequisites, as I understand it, for many of the “certification” programs. I would like more people to ask, “Who would want to be a coach if it didn’t look like an easy way to make money?” There’s almost a pyramid sales pitch going on, but building a coaching business is not that easy, nor is being a coach. All the good coaches I know started out in broader areas, such as OD.
On the positive side, I see coaching as a way for people to learn more about themselves. It provides a vehicle, especially for men, to explore themselves in a way that allows them to get to the next level. Most of the people I work with are men, and I’ve noticed that they are not as likely to make themselves vulnerable, even in a leadership training class, as they are in a one-on-one situation. So a good coaching relationship provides a setting that allows people to see who they are capable of being and the support to reach for that.
Memoir
Five Things
I started this memoir at an extraordinary writing workshop on Star Island, New Hampshire, in 2006. The workshop was led by Reg Saner, a naturalist and author, during an otherwise miserable week amidst the enthusiastic but somewhat clannish Star Island Unitarian Universalists. But it became laborious to continue this autobiographical approach back home. Several years passed until the summer of 2012, when, among the numerous books I read, was a collection of American essays edited in 2010 by Richard Russo. This format inspired another way to write a memoir. In the more interesting bits and pieces of life, Reg’s workshop provided the framework for the first bit: five events that shaped my lives.
Five Things
The Beginning
I was never meant to be. Perhaps that’s why I’ve never felt totally comfortable here or found a lifelong partner or even a home for settling permanently. Perhaps that also accounts for the tenacity that was my one great gift. It’s said that children who grow up under the same roof seldom grow up in the same family. That seems to be true in our case. When I try to talk to my siblings about my experiences as a child, they think I’m complaining and overreacting. But those three were children who were wanted, as were the two who were stillborn. I was the one who wasn’t, so my mother told me.
August 1, 2015
Eleven months after they were married, my parents had a baby boy while living with my paternal grandparents, caring for them in their old age. This arrangement benefited my parents, for whom wartime housing was hard to find, and my grandmother, who was dying of cancer and needed care. So, the bedrooms were all occupied as much as my parents’ reserve of patience and fortitude was depleted. When babies number three and four were stillborn, my parents discovered they had Rh factor, a blood incompatibility where the antibodies of an O+ and O- did battle, most often resulting in the death of the fetus, usually the second born. I survived that battle, as I did many others that were to follow. But there I was, and my mother, in a story she reveled in repeating, having borne first an Aryan-looking child, took one look at my dark brown eyes and olive skin and scolded the nurse: “That’s not my baby. Take it back and bring my real daughter.” An inauspicious beginning any way you look at it. Recently (2015), I was reading The Hummingbird’s Daughter by Luis Alberto Urrea and came across a passage where the old healer Huila whispered to a baby she’d just delivered, “Your job is to survive.” I think some angel in the ether whispered that to me on my birthday. The days and years that followed provided little, if anything, in mother-child bonding. Another oft-repeated claim was that when I cried, Mom locked me in the pantry. Yes, the word she used was “locked.” Sidebar: The message I continually received was also spoken once by my third/fourth grade teacher, Sister Agnes Mary, who, upon my spilling of an inkwell, proclaimed, “Judith, you’re more trouble than you’re worth!” I became used to my mother’s stories of alleged successful parenting, including spoken ballads of my contentious behavior, ballads told with great drama to her women friends and her sister. The one I remember most was the fate of a poodle skirt—a ‘50s fashion statement—I apparently wanted but never got. I first heard the story while the ladies were having coffee one day. I can’t remember the foul deed that nixed my poodle skirt, nor do I remember, really, wanting that skirt. That was the fortunate part, I guess. Thus formed a personality unusual for a female child in the ‘50s: tenacious, independent, and autonomous, with a competitive drive more suitable for a male. And when IQ tests administered in eighth grade presented a more than respectable score, things changed a bit, but only a bit, because by then there were two more children, ages two and newborn. Science saved these two from the RH antibody war. My younger sister and brother were each delivered by Caesarean section a month early and totally transfused at birth. And like the two that had not survived in between, when asked, my mother replied, “Oh, yes, I wanted those children.” Dad had married someone like his mother, German to the core. But the menfolk of the clan, also German, were warm and fatherly in the best sense of the word. Grandpa Joe, or Pupa, as we called him, lived with us after Num (our name for that grandmother) died and always had a lap and encircling arms available. So did my father, who used to confidentially share with us that Mom was just getting old and therefore impatient. She was probably 30 at the time. From his father, Dad had learned that family was all, more important than personal hopes and dreams. So it all balanced out, I suppose, but neither extreme enjoyed a very fulfilling life. As philosopher David Whyte aptly observed, “Our sense of slight woundedness around not belonging is actually one of our core competencies.”
Dancing My Heart Away
Most lucky children take music lessons and learn, however reluctantly, to play an instrument. My mother favored dance classes, tap dancing to be specific, my father’s least favorite form of dance. But off I went to Joe Gary’s dance studio above Gormley’s ice cream parlor. Joe Gary’s real name was Joe Gargoza. I think his parents were among the then-recent wave of Sicilians who immigrated to Mt. Morris to work in the canning factory there. Joe taught tap, ballet, and eventually ballroom dancing, to which I gravitated at age 13 because the tap really never took. But boys were in the jitterbug class, among them Jim Truby, who, in later life, I hear, was tragically found dead in the local cemetery. Jim also had an American name; it was really Trubia, I think. Jim and I cut the proverbial rug during jitterbug classes, hormones outpacing the music. The next year, my family moved back to Rochester, a move prompted by my winning a scholarship to Our Lady of Mercy High School. My goal then became to do a dance exhibition with Joe Gary for all my sister students to admire and applaud. That never happened, and the boys I encountered and perhaps even dated in high school and college had had no dance lessons, so my dance gene was frustrated and went to sleep for many years. In 1976, I’d been divorced two years and had just completed my master’s in education, so I had a tiny bit of time to spare amidst raising two young boys and working full time. One Sunday, when they were with their father, I attended a summer festival on the grounds of the DeCordova Museum in Lincoln. There I had to rub my eyes to make sure I did, in fact, behold a wondrous sight: people dancing in long lines on the lawn. I joined in to dismiss the possibility that it was a mirage and discovered American country dancing. I was hooked, and for many years danced two or three times a week at modest venues that held American and English country dance sessions, sponsored by the appropriately named Country Dance Society. The first six months, I just laughed my way through the dances, what with all my mistakes and missteps, but soon became one of the most sought-after female dancers. Not the only one, of course, but those in this category had the challenge of remembering to whom they had promised which upcoming dance. Forgetfulness caused hurt feelings and shunning by the forgotten male. Once my former husband moved away, I had no one to take care of the boys while I indulged my dancing feet. I was lucky enough to have moved into a not-so-well-maintained six-family apartment house that housed another single parent eager to get out for some good, clean fun, so we traded nights of childcare. On weekends, the boys went to dances with me, hung out with other dancers’ children, and fell asleep in sleeping bags on the edge of the dance floor. It helped that this was a crunchy granola crowd that did not indulge in alcohol and drugs, so everyone got home safely every Saturday night.
Surprisingly, my older son, Michael, when he was perhaps seven, begged for tap dance lessons. We both looked forward to his weekly tap lessons in a small business area. A nearby laundromat made it easy to get the family’s laundry done. Practice at home, however, was not so satisfying. We lived on the second floor of a six-family house, three apartments side-by-side. Although our downstairs neighbors, who remembered noise restrictions they had suffered as children, were unusually tolerant, I feared testing their goodwill. So Michael practiced faithfully before a full-length mirror in the tiny entry hall, in his socks. This was not so gratifying for a dance form that existed for its sound. But Michael was always disciplined when there was a goal, so he persisted until that interest faded and drum lessons became the goal. The dancing habit lessened a great deal when I started to travel for work, but when I had to retire because of the health problems caused by cancer treatment, eventually I found my way into the Mystic Chorale, then the Greater Boston Intergenerational Chorus, and finally (as of this edit in June ‘24), Sharing a New Song. The last offers friendships lite, which is all I can manage anymore, brain training by virtue of having to learn words and melodies, and other health benefits (see my New Year’s letter 1/24). And I do love the sounds, the harmonies.
New Year’s Letter to Friends and Family
January 1, 2024
Once again, weekly participation in my chorus, sharing a new song, brought me mental and physical health benefits, social gatherings, and weekly visits with cousin Freedom, also in the chorus. Our most recent concert in November featured a variety of songs, from the always comforting Lean on Me to the rousing finale, I Want to Dance with Somebody. Freedom’s parents, Dick and Eva-Lee, came up from New York to sing and dance along with the audience. Eva-Lee is my last surviving first cousin.
Thank you for being in my life to balance out the horrors of 2024: political and social strife and environmental disasters all over the world. Putting that aside temporarily, I’d like to share some important and joyful moments of my year and hope you will regale me with yours. For the 14th year, my community garden was a haven that surrounded me with healing nature. The common-space native pollinator gardens that I’ve managed for 10 years drew the usual necessary pollinating birds, butterflies, bees, and other beneficial insects. A smaller version of this in my little gardening plot entertains me with hummingbirds, monarch butterflies, goldfinches, and bees inserting themselves in the flower blossoms. The pollen they harvest and deliver to the various plants provides for the vegetables I enjoy every summer. I even go there every week in the winter, when I can get past the snow, and feed all my food waste to the compost bin. This year also provided opportunities to visit with many of the cherished friends from our American and English folk dancing years. Although most of us are unable to dance anymore, we’re still grateful to get together occasionally. One’s 80th birthday party brought many of us together, as did potluck suppers and dances where we enjoyed the familiar music of our more active years. My constant and trustworthy friend Bruce (a giant stuffed gorilla), my emotional support animal, rides shotgun in my car. We always wave at police officers and otherwise amuse other drivers. Family was the highlight of the year when John, Sandra, Ruby, five, and Leyla, three, traveled from Ojai, California, for Pati and Daniel’s generous Thanksgiving gathering. Freedom brought her progeny, Karma, a junior at UMass Amherst, and Jupiter, a junior at Tufts University. Lia came home from her senior year at Colgate and brought her friend Sebastian, who always makes everyone feel comfortable. During this trip, John and his little family experienced some of Boston’s highlights: the New England Aquarium, the ducks on the Boston Common, the Boston Public Library, Drumlin Farm, and the Museum of Science. Christmas was another joyful family gathering. Pati, Lia, and I went to a candlelight service, then feasted on a tasty turkey dinner prepared by Pati at their home. I took home enough leftovers for three dinners at home. We opened the huge pile of gifts and emptied our stockings, marveling at what became the happiest time of my life, living the way families used to live, two generations in the same house. I stayed in that house for a year after Michael and Pati split up and helped with Lia by taking care of her and transporting her to and from nearby afternoon daycare. But tensions grew with Pati, and it seemed best to convert that house into condos, which made it easy to sell my share and allow Pati and Lia to remain there. In many ways, it was hard to leave there and live alone again, this time in a completely new town, Lexington. The apartment I found was on the first floor with no steps and walking distance to the small center of town and all its conveniences. That location helped me renew friendships with dance friends, as I lived closer to many of them and could easily host occasional potluck dinners centered around a monthly contra dance at the adjacent Unitarian Universalist church. But such invitations were seldom returned, except for Patty and Ira, since all those friends were in couples, and most, if not all, had pets, to which I was severely allergic. Many of these friends I met at dances and married during my travel years. So they came to socialize with people in the same situation, but then I was unable to visit their homes because of my allergies. In Lexington, I became involved with the League of Women Voters to the extent that I was put in charge of creating an e-mailable monthly newsletter. That bulletin kept me very busy and very frustrated as I had to learn how to do some 33 pages, including my report of weekly Planning Board meetings. The newsletter was quite an upgrade, but there was interference and a lack of gratitude from some of the older women. Thus began my disappointment with Lexington and its culture of well-off, married women. Again, no social life intervened with my loner life, but family life kept me busy, while Michael lived in Belmont for a short time and then bought a condo at Potter Pond. I got heavily involved in helping him set up that home, helping furnish and decorate it, right down to the bamboo shade window coverings. I began the frequent transport of Lia to and from gymnastics classes and preparing supper at Potter Pond when Lia spent nights there. Otherwise, I landscaped and maintained the yard there, a satisfying pursuit since I missed that outdoor work when I left the Watertown house, which I had heavily landscaped over the six years I lived there.
Michael had many friends and frequently entertained them at Potter Pond. I was often invited, so those younger people became my friends, and once more, I didn’t need to face the lack of friends my own age. Even though I then moved to Belmont for a bit and then back to Avalon at Lexington Hills, the nine years that Michael lived there kept me quite satisfied and busy with family life. Some Elderhostel trips and a Boston Arts trip to Italy were highlights of my life, and once again, I registered for those and traveled as a single, although the nature of those trips provided much socializing with group tours and meals. But again, those adventures kept me from facing the loneliness of single life. I even took some trips to Florida, where I wandered alone, except for the few times Carol and David were also there. Occasional boyfriends kept me amused, but none of them worked out for any length of time, so eventually, and not unhappily, I gave up that pursuit, too. Family life was very full and satisfying until Michael died.
Letters of Reference
Editor’s note: These letters are included to illustrate Judith Otto’s work and for the motivational benefit of her grandchildren. I imagine her copying these letters on a Xerox machine at a public library, carefully folding them into an envelope with a cover letter and perfectly typed resume, evenly affixing a stamp, and sending them off to potential employers.
Obituary
OTTO, Judith Ann, age 81, passed away in her sleep in Cambridge, MA, on May 15 from cancer and the side effects of chemotherapy drugs. Her surviving son, Jonathan Veit, was by her side at a care facility at the time of her death. Her granddaughters, Lia, Ruby, and Leyla Veit, spent time with her shortly before her death. As an independent management consultant, Judith used compassion and empathy to guide her clients. An advocate of social and environmental justice, Judith was active in many charitable and community organizations.
Judith Otto and Veit Publishing Support
One dollar from every copy of An Ordinary Life: Its Bits and Pieces sold will be donated to Concord Prison Outreach, where Judith Otto taught gardening to incarcerated people. Please support their work, “Transforming the lives of incarcerated people across the state of Massachusetts through education, opportunity, and human connection since 1968.”
One dollar from every copy of An Ordinary Life: Its Bits and Pieces sold will be donated to Waltham Fields Community Farm, a 501(c)(3) that cultivates sustainable and equitable relationships between people, their food supply, and the land from which it grows.”
To learn more, please visit veitpublishing.com
Look Inside
From An Ordinary Life: Its Bits and Pieces
The Beginning
“I was never meant to be. Perhaps that’s why I’ve never felt totally comfortable here or found a lifelong partner or even a home for settling permanently. Perhaps that also accounts for the tenacity that was my one great gift. It’s said that children who grow up under the same roof seldom grow up in the same family. That seems to be true in our case. When I try to talk to my siblings about my experiences as a child, they think I’m complaining and overreacting. But those three were children who were wanted, as were the two who were stillborn. I was the one who wasn’t, so my mother told me.
But there I was, and my mother, in a story she reveled in repeating, having borne first an Aryan-looking child, took one look at my dark brown eyes and olive skin and scolded the nurse: ‘That’s not my baby. Take it back and bring my real daughter.’ An inauspicious beginning any way you look at it.”
— Five Things: Memoir - 2015
“An adult male is always a Mr., or its linguistic equivalent. One never knows by his title whether Mr. Jones or Herr Braun is married. If it is not important to know the marital status of a man, why must a woman be classified as a matron or a maiden? Should a title designate respect for a man, eligibility for a woman?”
— The Needham Times, The Copy Hook Column, 1973-1974
"There has been a notable lack, however, of providing students with the means to meet the ever-changing and unpredictable future. Therefore, it makes sense when planning a curriculum to ask, ‘What do people need to know?’ The most basic answer is that they need to know how to survive. People need to know how to survive physically, emotionally, and financially."
— Philosophy of Education, Essay - 1978
Junk mail is a pleasant intrusion compared to constant telephone assaults. Junk mail can be set aside to read at lunch. It can be given to children who like to receive their own mail. It can even be thrown away at my convenience. It doesn’t demand my immediate presence. It doesn’t interrupt my activities or rest. It doesn’t wake my children from naps. And it doesn’t cause me to be rude...
— June 1973, The Needham Times
“Mr. Foster refused to play Uncle Tom when he criticized suburbanites for their missionary complex—the feeling we have that we're doing good things for the Boston students and that they are the sole beneficiaries.” - The Copy Hook, “a column of news, near news, and commentary; news stories; and feature stories.”
— The Needham Times, October 1973
Recently, a young woman who dared to smoke on the MBTA might have been asked with the dignity any human being deserves to observe the no-smoking rule. Instead, two tailored and blue-haired “ladies” on the transit car carried on a loud and public treatise on how selfish today’s teenagers are. The incident served no purpose but to further widen the so-called generation gap.
— The Needham Times, March 1974

An Ordinary Life: It's Bits and Pieces
An Ordinary Life: Its Bits and Pieces is a quietly radical collection of memoir, journalism, letters, and essays. Judith Otto offers a clear, compassionate vision rooted in her decades as an educator, mother, social ecologist, and executive coach. Her writings argue that true preparation for life goes far beyond traditional academics. Survival—physical, emotional, and ethical—requires knowing oneself, understanding others, and mastering process skills like decision-making, communication, and reflection.
Editor's Note: I put this book together from my mom's writing after she passed on last May. It is a vivid window into the 1970s and how women navigated the same issues that plague and inspire us today. There is an essay on education, her newspaper column and articles, an interview, her astrological chart, a memoir she was writing, and letters of recommendation from colleagues that illustrate her work and approach to living. $1 from every book and e-book sold will be donated to concordprisonoutreach.org and communityfarms.org. Please let me know if you will be in the Boston area on August 17 and would like to attend a celebration of her life at Belmont Victory Gardens at Rock Meadow from 2pm to 5pm.
“Education is not about passing tests or climbing ladders. It’s about learning to see clearly, act justly, and care deeply—about yourself, others, and the world we all share.” - Judith Otto, Philosophy of Education Essay, 1978
Judith Otto
Judith Otto was a revolutionary educator, thoughtful journalist, strategic management consultant, avid gardener, and devoted mother of two sons. Across each of these roles, she lived with deep integrity and a fierce commitment to justice, equity, and sustainable living. Judith's life and work were grounded in the belief that meaningful change begins with self-knowledge and extends outward—to families, communities, institutions, and ecosystems. Her legacy is not only what she taught, but also how she lived: with compassion, insight, and unwavering purpose. Whether she was cultivating a garden, leading a workshop, or singing in choir, Judith approached every act with the same philosophy: learning is a lifelong, relational process that connects the mind, heart, and hands.

This Book Supports
This book supports two organizations that embody the values Judith championed throughout her life:
Judith volunteered with Concord Prison Outreach, where she taught gardening to incarcerated people. For her, the act of cultivating a garden was also an act of healing, renewal, and connection. She believed that everyone—regardless of circumstance—deserves access to growth, learning, and dignity.
Judith supported Waltham Fields Community Farm, a nonprofit farm dedicated to building sustainable communities through food justice, ecological education, and hands-on agricultural work. Its mission aligns with her lifelong efforts to restore harmony between people and the planet.